Bears Hate Selfies

How do you travel across a continent in a time when you're not even supposed to leave your house? Turns out the answer is "with a mask, and a lot of dirty looks from other people." I drove from New Hampshire to upstate New York, in order to isolate after quitting my job (again) at the hospital. I stayed there for a little over a week, and then there were the flights: Four of them. The airports were more deserted than I'd ever seen in my life, but it was rather pleasant, up until the third flight: the longest one, during which I was seated next to a six-week-old baby who sounded like a wet cat, and in front of a person who decided the only way to spend a 900 hour flight was to sit with her knees in the back of my seat. It took everything in me to refrain from going full Tonya Harding on her. When I finally landed in Anchorage, I got into a taxi driven by a full on psychopath, who spent the full five minute drive (longest five minutes of my life) starting out th...

And we're back! New adventures, which means more self-indulgent writing. In September of last year I visited a friend up in Denali National Park. We went for a hike led by Ranger Nick, and at some point, he was asked a question. He paused for awhile, and then said "Okay, I have two options here: I can tell you honestly that I don't know, and go do some research and give you a truthful answer later, or I can tell you an outrageous ranger lie right now." And that's how I discovered my dream job. Four months or so later, I was hired to be a National Park Ranger at Katmai National Park in Alaska. Then the Coronavirus pandemic hit, because my luck may not be good, but it is certainly consistent, and I spent months worrying that I'd miss out on the whole scheme.  Now it's June, and I've finally made it, at least as far as King Salmon, Alaska. Welcome to my latest misadventures, this time as a National Park Ranger.